I was remarking to my bride, Ruthie, that it probably has
been about 3 years since I really had some fun. With all the surgeries
of 2011, recovery throughout 2012, and then Ruthie’s health difficulties in
2013, we just haven’t had much time to relax and have some fun. The old adage, “all
work and no play make Johnny a dull boy,” comes to mind.
I recall a conversation I had with my longtime physican, Dr
Burkland, following the birth of my 4th child, Beth. Ruthie had just
given birth to the 11lb Beth (gestational diabetes in case you were wondering) that morning, and Dr Burkland paid an evening visit to the
hospital to check up on Ruthie and our new born Beth. Dr Burkland received some
of his education from the Jesuits, so is known to philosophize while examining
a person. He had just viewed the film, “The Big Chill.” He began to expound on
the false expectations that people have about life. I paraphrase the gist of
what he said then, “ Every moment in life can’t always be high, wonderful
moments. There are long valleys in life in which there are tough times, mundane
times, and times of crisis. The high, wonderful moments are like the hills or
mountains that appear from time to time at the end of these long valleys. These
high times help to sustain us during the long times in the valley. What I find so exasperating in the film is the expectation
of all these characters that life was going to be a string of high, wonderful
events. It just isn’t that way.”
Dr Burkland was absolutely correct. We all would like to
have those high, wonderful moments throughout life. The danger that would be
present in such a situation is that we probably would not appreciate them or
maybe even recognize them as high and wonderful. Many years ago, I was visiting
a man who had married his high school sweetheart. Their marriage was long and
happy. He had built their home. They had wonderful kids. With the exception of
those times she gave birth, they had never been in a hospital and had
experienced great health throughout all their lives. When they both reached
their 80’s, they began to experience some deteriorating health problems. During
one visit he said, “Why is God punishing me so much? Why is God tormenting me?”
I asked him in what way he thought God was being cruel to him. His answer was
basically about the current health problems he and his wife were experiencing.
I then pointed out that while the present was becoming difficult for the both
of them, they had over 80 years in which God blessed them with good health, a
wonderful marriage, a great family, a good income, in which they have very little want. I
concluded that rather than punishing them, God had for the most part blessed
them abundantly throughout life. He just couldn’t see the blessings and his
remaining years were ones in which he slipped into bitterness, cursing God.
We can’t always have fun, and life at times can be so
incredibly overwhelming, and seemingly goes on for long stretches. However,
every now and again, it is nice to get a break from the valleys in life. Perhaps
in the end, it is important to be able to recognize and to be aware of those “good” times, those “fun”
times we do have, even if they are only for a day, or for a few hours.
I think the writer of Ecclesiastes recognized all this when
he wrote:
“There is an appointed
time for everything,
and a time for every
affair under the heavens.
A time to be born, and
a time to die;
a time to plant, and a
time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a
time to heal;
a time to tear down,
and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a
time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a
time to dance.
A time to scatter
stones,
and a time to gather
them;
a time to embrace,
and a time to be far
from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time
to lose;
a time to keep, and a
time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a
time to sew;
a time to be silent,
and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a
time to hate;
a time of war, and a
time of peace.
He has made everything
appropriate to its time,
and has put the
timeless into their hearts,
without men's ever
discovering,
from beginning to end,
the work which God has done.” (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8, 11, NAB)
And when life gets to be
too hard … a time to have a snowball fight!
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